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How to Steal a Stone Island Badge

WARNING: if you try this guide and get caught and need to appear in a court hearing – give us a shout, we’ll come see you in court – feel free to tell the judge where you learned it all from.

First off, you need to be hidden. CCTV everywhere – don’t wanna get caught do ya?

You need one of these to hide your face:

OK… so it’ll cost you £300 – £400 – so what!! You’re after a Stone Island badge – they’re worth their weight in gold.

Next, get together with some mates. Buy each mate one of the above coats – you know it’s worth it.

Next, go to a football match. Look out for a weakling who’s under 5 foot 4 inches tall who doesn’t have any mates + who’s wearing a Stone Island jacket.

RUSH him boys (but don’t harm him or anything – love to all mankind).

Two of you grab his left arm. And now pull, pull with ALL your might! Pull HARD!

I said pull REAL hard, the damn badge is stuck on with SUPER GLUE!

Oh… wait… sorry… my bad… wait… hold on… I have a Stone Island expert on the phone….

He says the badge is easy peasy to to JUST lift off. The wearer knows NOTHING.

You don’t need to go into training to become a pick pocket – it’s EASY!

If you don’t have the guts to do in person… go to a restaurant… follow some thugs (rich ones) at a football match and go into a restaurant. Wait for one of them to hang up their jackets.

BANG! You strike! Yeeeeee ha! You’re now worth a £10,000 – that’s how much a real Stone Island badge can cost – honest, I’m telling the truth… would I lie to you??

Sad sad story… the truth… both the above happened to moi. 🙁

‘Lifted’ off my shoulder walking to a football game – I never even felt it.

Last time, went out with some friends… coat hanged up. On way out: missing Stone Island badge.

Put on a brave face and laugh off with the lads. Get home and cry. 🙁

I asked Stone Island for help: “We don’t sell badges. Goodbye.”